曾经，我告诉自己，如果和好了，我要好好地珍惜这份友情。
果然，那天你对我说的话，让我真的很感动。
我以为，我一直期待的知音出现了。
我把心中的刺隐藏了。
我以为你变了，以为你会对我好，对我像好朋友一样看待。
但我失望了。
我又一次失望了。
你根本没有当我是一个你“认为”是很重要的人。
喜欢，你冷落我。
喜欢，你骂我。
喜欢，你不睬我。
喜欢，你可以把我对你的好都忘了。
我真的累了，我相信的累了。
原来你没变。
变得只是我无知的想法。
但，我不会讨厌你。
同时，我也不会采取任何行动。
若你认为这样对一个朋友是应该的，
那，
放心，我也会用同样的方法来对你。
你教会我绝情。
但，我可以比你更绝情。
你假装狠，
我可以比你真的狠。
我想让你知道，
你并不是我的谁，
若你是这样认为，你错了！
放心，或许有一天我会当作没有事发生，
但，这根刺我不会隐瞒起来。
忘我会让你知道，我不是那么好欺负的。
我的不用紧，没关系，
你买不起。
你们都买不起！
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
A catalyst will always be a catalyst
Crazy with trial exam recently. And when i was revising my chemistry, i found something that really like me! It's catalyst. People will sure have a question, "Hey, being a catalyst is not bad, you speed up everything!" But let me tell you that it is disastrous. Basically there are 2 types of catalyst - homogenous and heterogenous.
HOMOGENOUS
It's simple, it means that the catalyst exist as the same phase as the reactant. It will react with the reactant to form intermediate state and finally return to its own form. Well, it's totally the same like my situation now. I used to be so good with a friend and tried so hard to be the best for him. Yes, i really did the part on intermediate species that i'am really close to him at a moment, but it's a fast step that the intermediate state will disintegrate. Haha, good, he get a partner. I should be happy but haha all i know is i was the left out catalyst. Being ALONE again. being IGNORED again. You know, you said you hate my act to isolate myself but you know what? You made me do that! You are so a reason freak! Giving reasons all around! WTH! I feel disappointed. I thought my advice would help but the reple is just a simple sentence, "I don't really listen to a friend. Their words are not important to me." What? Did you just hear that? I heard it. Catalyst has no real friends. They seeking around for friends but being used, being cheated and being left out with disappointments. My so call "friend", please be a little bit more kind to your family. I really cannot stand anymore with your attitude towards your family. You don't like me bothering your house "business", okay, i will never talk to you about it. However, your acts are too over. How dare you tell your parents that you will only take care of them if you are rich in the future! BULLSHIT! I hate this sentence. You made your parents cried. You disappoint them. You don't know how to appreciate. You showed bad examples to your siblings and demanded all over the time. Please if you are so demanded, you rule the family. You go earn money for the family and you will have the power to say something but if you can't afford then just shut up! It feels so hard and saddening for an outsider to see a mum phoning around just to ask where to buy the specimen for her son and yet her son is fooling around like no days. God bless this mum and i hope that she can stay strong. God bless this "product" of my catalyst too. v.v
HETEROGENOUS
This is a catalyst that exists as a different phase with the reactant and usually the reactant will adsorb on the catalyst to form new bonds. Hell yeah, I am one of the catalyst known as "nevermind-er". I met too much of them, just too much of them. I don't usually make new friends, and if i met someone that i thin it's worth for me to be friend with, i will try my best to make that person as close to me as possible. I give, i keep on saying never mind, i try to accommodate them whenever i can, but what i get as a return is that friends usually take granted and advantage of me. They thought that i wont mind if they ignore me or tease me or against me cause i will always be the "nevermind-er" but NO! I do feel hurt and sad often for what u guys had done to me. It's like the adsorption to the catalyst forming a weak bond or so called fake bond with the catalyst then just leave the catalyst alone. Who really care how the catalyst feels? No one i guess. What's wrong with me? I thought i had given the best to you to you and to you! But where are you when i need all of you? I feel like i am a bitch hoping everyone to be close to me and i will do whatever i can to get them close to me. Don't make me feel this please! If you really appreciate me as a friend, show me but not hurt me more! I should from now on have my bottom line. Whoever who crossed it, just say bye bye. I wont even let you to stick on me not even a second!
I am hard but brittle.....
I am stiff but fragile.....
HOMOGENOUS
It's simple, it means that the catalyst exist as the same phase as the reactant. It will react with the reactant to form intermediate state and finally return to its own form. Well, it's totally the same like my situation now. I used to be so good with a friend and tried so hard to be the best for him. Yes, i really did the part on intermediate species that i'am really close to him at a moment, but it's a fast step that the intermediate state will disintegrate. Haha, good, he get a partner. I should be happy but haha all i know is i was the left out catalyst. Being ALONE again. being IGNORED again. You know, you said you hate my act to isolate myself but you know what? You made me do that! You are so a reason freak! Giving reasons all around! WTH! I feel disappointed. I thought my advice would help but the reple is just a simple sentence, "I don't really listen to a friend. Their words are not important to me." What? Did you just hear that? I heard it. Catalyst has no real friends. They seeking around for friends but being used, being cheated and being left out with disappointments. My so call "friend", please be a little bit more kind to your family. I really cannot stand anymore with your attitude towards your family. You don't like me bothering your house "business", okay, i will never talk to you about it. However, your acts are too over. How dare you tell your parents that you will only take care of them if you are rich in the future! BULLSHIT! I hate this sentence. You made your parents cried. You disappoint them. You don't know how to appreciate. You showed bad examples to your siblings and demanded all over the time. Please if you are so demanded, you rule the family. You go earn money for the family and you will have the power to say something but if you can't afford then just shut up! It feels so hard and saddening for an outsider to see a mum phoning around just to ask where to buy the specimen for her son and yet her son is fooling around like no days. God bless this mum and i hope that she can stay strong. God bless this "product" of my catalyst too. v.v
HETEROGENOUS
This is a catalyst that exists as a different phase with the reactant and usually the reactant will adsorb on the catalyst to form new bonds. Hell yeah, I am one of the catalyst known as "nevermind-er". I met too much of them, just too much of them. I don't usually make new friends, and if i met someone that i thin it's worth for me to be friend with, i will try my best to make that person as close to me as possible. I give, i keep on saying never mind, i try to accommodate them whenever i can, but what i get as a return is that friends usually take granted and advantage of me. They thought that i wont mind if they ignore me or tease me or against me cause i will always be the "nevermind-er" but NO! I do feel hurt and sad often for what u guys had done to me. It's like the adsorption to the catalyst forming a weak bond or so called fake bond with the catalyst then just leave the catalyst alone. Who really care how the catalyst feels? No one i guess. What's wrong with me? I thought i had given the best to you to you and to you! But where are you when i need all of you? I feel like i am a bitch hoping everyone to be close to me and i will do whatever i can to get them close to me. Don't make me feel this please! If you really appreciate me as a friend, show me but not hurt me more! I should from now on have my bottom line. Whoever who crossed it, just say bye bye. I wont even let you to stick on me not even a second!
I am hard but brittle.....
I am stiff but fragile.....
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