我还会痛~

看了一个短剧，不由自主地哭了起来。
原以为开始麻痹了，却还是隐隐的作痛了。
触碰不了的伤口，因该让它留着吗？
以为避开了，不想了，伪装了，就可以笑着活下去。
但为什么，一次次突然地想起你，一次次的偷偷哭泣。为什么？
是不是谁 给的不够 还是谁放得太多？
我应该要忘记了，
但，装了两个星期，
你的记忆，已经深深烙印在我心中了，永远磨灭不了。
有人问我，如果给我多一次机会，我会不会选择再遇上你？
我的答案是：会，一定会！就算让我再痛也无所谓。只是这一次，我会选择不告诉你。默默地在你的身后看着你的背影就好了。
我曾经告诉自己不要哭，不是不值得，而是，哭了也没用，我手上已经不再拥有任何筹码。就连等你的资格也没有，我还想挽回什么。
但是，听了一句话后，被那句话打动了。深深的刺在我的伤口上，“我爱你，有错吗？”
我们的爱　犯了什么错？
我们的爱？或许，只是我一个人的一厢情愿吧。
不要再说，你会不会在乎。我只是知道，我还在乎。
曾经傻傻以为，你会是对的人，我寻寻觅觅了好久的那一个人。我感觉到了，对的人，却也是最错的那一个人。
我不会忘记，我是哭着写着一篇的，
这已经不再是伤心或是死心了，它已经升华到了另一个境界，变成一种难以磨灭的痛，痛到我已经麻木了，却还是感觉到痛．
我爱你，真的有错吗？
或许你根本不会在意，我只想听听你内心的答案．告诉我，是我笨了吗？我傻够了吗？
这世界上，根本没有奇迹，只有等待，只有要求，只有伪装，只有怀念，只有愿意，只有痛心，只有死心，只有我不懂．．．．．
一个人的脚印，深深地印在沙滩上，却永远烙不上你的心，被海浪一点一点的冲淡，像我给你的回忆，一点一点的忘记。

真的只有眼泪知道．．．．．．

Excitement

Hmmm....Yesterday, i went to Malacca with family. It's not the first time i have been there, but this time it is just different. It's like a backpacking for me where i can go around wherever i like.

Around 7.30 in the morning we started our journey. Arrived there around 10 in the morning. Dad went to work while mum and i walked around the Bukit Cina there. Hmm....quite a lot of souvenirs sold there. But the weather is quite warm there, so we decided to walk to Dataran Pahlawan there. LOL! We managed to get there without a map! While we were on our way, I saw some policemen riding horses. Quite a nice scene! I mean the horse but not the person above it. I just like animals.

Next, we went shopping in Dataran Pahlawan. I like the complex a lot cause it is more convenient and more user-friendly compared to KL shopping complexes. The temperature is just at the right point. Not too cold and not too warm though. Saw quite a lot of cute things! ANGRY BIRDS! Meanwhile, i bought a new pants! And we got a free anc coll recycle bag! Love it so so so much!

Next, we went for lunch together with bro. He recommended us a restaurant called Nadeje Cafe. It is just located above the Dataran Pahlawan there. Hey, i saw people queuing up, waiting to be served. Luckily, we didn't wait long, about 10 minutes. What is so special about this cafe is it's cake! Milk creme layer cake. It tastes absolutely fabulous! Melt instantly in your mouth! We just ordered one sliced and we already addicted to it! Mocha flavour~ YummmmmmyYYYY!!!


After that, we went to the beach. We heard that there is a stall selling Coconut milk shake and it is very popular. So we went to Klebang and WTH, long queue again! We waited for a bout half an hour to get our milk shake. It tastes good. Really really good! Refreshing! With ice cream, coconut flesh and coconut water, it is amazing and amusing! Worth for us to wait. xD








Nice right? At night, we went for satay celup as our dinner. We heard that it is very very nice! Can't resist my mouth from trying good food. Hahaha! The Capitol Satay shop is around the Dataran Pahlawan in the city. When we reached there. Our jaws dropped off because there was already a super long queue! AGAIN! We waited for 1 hour at least standing beside the road. Nearly lost our patience. Finally, we got our place. I dun feel like liking it because of it's hygiene problem. Not very interested with steamboat-liked meal. After we tried, haiz....not that good also. I personally think that it is just ordinary. Not really that special for me. It was quite cheap but no i dun like it. xD





After sending bro back to his hostel. We went home. Quite interesting for me. I like Malacca. It is one of the city that i like the most in Malaysia beside Georgetown. Lalala, if possible, everyone should go there and have a backpacking tour! Bhai~~~

Random~

Yesterday was mum birthday. Made a card for her and i hid in the fridge in the morning before i went to school. Hmmm....hope she really like it though it is not that super cute or nice. But when i was home, i saw her smiling. That's more than enough for me. :)

Last night, i dreamed a weird thing again. I dreamed that i was fighting with skw. It sounds funny but it made me feel bad. Really really bad indeed. We fought because i think he only cares the one he likes only and we are like no more friends. The scene is still in my mind. Everything seems so real to me. I hope that it wont really happen. Please don't let it happen please. I don't really care anymore but why do i have this kind of dream? Do i still care about that?

Discussing about vaccine during PA tuition class today. Suddenly it gave me an idea. If possible, we can create a vaccine to be injected into human bodies. If the mosquitoes sting us, the vaccine will turn the mosquitoes into a chicken! Yes, a CHICKEN! Or just anything will do. Then we will have enough food to eat! Nah! Just some stupid imagination. But what if there were a lot of mosquitoes stinging us at night? LOL, there will be a lot of chickens running around you at the night time! Lalalala, it's not a good idea though. :(

Exam next week. I start getting a little bit nervous now. No! very nervous but i don't feel like doing revision also. Why? I also don't know. Anyway, i hope everyone can do their best for this exam. Add oil add oil!

Recalling from the deepest part of my heart.

Turn to be crazy recently. What i mean is these few days. Really insane! Lost of life! LOL....OMFG. Everything just seem so funny to me! But am i really that happy from the deepest part of my heart? I really dun have any idea of it.....

Recalling all those memories these 2 days.
For me, all those memories are sweet. Really really appreciable.
But, when i am recalling my memories, it means that i am sad. Seek for happiness and trying to escape from the fact. It's always like that. I mean me myself. I am a freak with full of contradiction in myself. When i smile, it doesn't really mean that i am happy at that moment. Hmmm....pretending? Maybe, but it just set in my DNA. It's me!

I miss those days where we can
Talk about everything with no hesitation
Dun speak even one word but we know what the other want to say
Smile and look at each other :)
Laugh our asses out
Care about each others
Having fun and messing around together.....

But in fact, those are just memories. Nobody can send me back to that moment again not even once. No....never.....What i can only do is to continue my life and i hope i am able to seek for the true happiness. Wish that someone may appear in my life and lighten my senses again. Though now it is the time for me to heal my wound, but i do hope this person can turn out faster. It can be a group of people also. I don't mind as long as they can drive me to another level of enjoying my life.

I just read a song lyrics. It's Beyonce new song. The lyrics is totally sad - "I told you how you hurt me/ I’m crying and deserted but you don’t care/ Nobody told me this is love/ You’re immune to all my pain/ This is love but that’s okay… But I care/ I know you don’t care too much/ But I still care." But i just like it. :)

My class, i really miss you! My real class! I dun care if any of opposition occurs or any misunderstanding that breaks our relationship, i still have a profound love toward it. My 6SA, please don't ever let it falls. I hope everyone can cherish the moment while we are still together. Guys, we have only 8 months left. Don't make me cry again. OMG! LOL

好想，好想

真得很想在这里能够留下你的足迹，留下曾经发生过的回忆。无论是开心，或是不开心，都好想一一记下，让以后的我，就算是一个人的我，也能够细细品尝那无穷回味的记忆。

或许在这个断点，我学会不再回头，也不再拉扯，
但往往，人就是改不了依念，
越后来，感觉越强烈，
很想反方向跑向起点，
就算重新再来，重新再痛，
也能带着微笑，一点也不妥协。
可惜，可是，可悲，
人生或许就像大便，
不可能永远把某样东西留在身边，
就让它走吧。

慢慢发觉，原来自己讲话很没有点。
往往人家看了或听了，还是一头雾水。
可能是自我保护吧，不习惯让别人看透自己。
但是，有时，直肠直肚应该也不错吧。
我不爱以语言攻击人家，感觉真得很伤，
说真的，谁想要被别人伤害呢？
看来，说话的确是门学问，
我是该好好学学了。

自己真得很矛盾。
一分钟以前，想着要杀人，
一分钟后，还是原谅他吧。
我就是这样，不是说心软吧。
只是，我真得很矛盾，感觉，算了吧，算了吧。。。。。。
可能是因为这样，心情真得会大起大落。
相信许多人都怕了吧。
说真的，连自己都不太能了解自己，又有什么资格要别人去了解自己呢？

你看，原以为只想写两句的，却写了一大篇大便出来，邓景文，你在吗？o.O

Stalker!

I can't imagine that someone is stalking my blog! OMG! That's ridiculous! Simply write this to show that how shock i am! jasmine yeo! Be aware of this girl! hahahahahaha.....
She is a super stalker and will laugh at you after reading your blog post! OMG, i m damn pai seh now! ARGHHH!!!!! Mwahahahahahahaha~

LOL!

OMG! I can't believe i have been abandoning this site for half a year! And now I am back! Hahahaha....

Recently, i mean this half a year, there were GOD DAMN LOT of troubles and changes! I fought with Wing and now friends again X) Hmmm.....honestly, i was mad at that time i guess. Really really mad i mean. I know i did it wrongly but i know i will never able to heal the wound again. Just hope that i can stay with him and make his emoness away even just for a while. Let just hope i will remain sober all the time and no more mistakes pls! >.<

Life is full of changes! I went up to the top of the world and now I am at the bottom of the hell. I put in too much hope i guess. I believe everyone will be like me as well. Although they know that something is totally impossible to them, they will still pay all out maybe just to get a little bit of reward or maybe none at all. Life is cruel, we have to admit it. And i am wondering what the hell are all these natural rules. Who made them? Why do we need to follow all of these? I really fall deep with this person and now i think i just have to let go. I think i am almost done. Just be dudes would be enough for me. Wish this person all the best and have a happy life...:)

Recontact with so many people and i feel great about it! These guys lighten up my life! Great! Fantastic! HOU AH!!! I don't feel lonely anymore and i have learnt so much after these few months. Just hope that i can do better after this. Strive for the best TENG JIN WEN!